


Far Away

by searchingwardrobes



Series: Fandom Birthday Playlist [29]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s03e12 New York City Serenade, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 21:44:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20495828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/searchingwardrobes/pseuds/searchingwardrobes
Summary: She didn’t cry, Tears were incredibly rare in Emma’s life. She did, however, move closer to him. Killian lifted his arms and wrapped them around her. She was enveloped by warmth and the scent of him - rum and the salty tang of the ocean. She buried her face in his shoulder and the scent of leather was added to the mix. She felt tears sting the corners of her eyes, but she held them back. A canon divergence for New York City Serenade in which the hug stayed in and things heat up from there. Based on the song by Nickelback.





	Far Away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [catsophia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/catsophia/gifts).

** _Cause you know you know, you know / That I love you, I have loved you all along, and I miss you / Been far away for far too long / I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go / Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore_ **

“Hook,” Emma breathed, her eyes wide as the vial of potion went lax in her hand.

“Did you miss me?” he teased with that familiar tilt of his head and cocky smile.

Moments ago, memories had washed over Emma like a flood. Now she was no longer the person she was mere seconds ago. Shock and fear overwhelmed her in a crashing wave. Killian’s face morphed from flirting to one of alarm. He took a step towards her, somewhat hesitantly. He searched her eyes, and the emotions she saw in those ocean blue depths broke her.

She didn’t cry, Tears were incredibly rare in Emma’s life. She did, however, move closer to him. Killian lifted his arms and wrapped them around her. She was enveloped by warmth and the scent of him - rum and the salty tang of the ocean. She buried her face in his shoulder and the scent of leather was added to the mix. She felt tears sting the corners of her eyes, but she held them back. 

Killian’s chin rubbed at the top of her head and his hand rubbed her back in gentle circles. Her own arms were curled against her chest. An errant thought ran through her mind: she fit perfectly against him. She pushed that impression stubbornly away.

“What can I do?” he whispered. “What do you need, Emma?”

Her breath caught in her throat, and she squeezed her eyes tight. His flirting she could deal with, but this tender sincerity? That threatened to wreck her. She took a step back, and he immediately released her. Her cheeks were warm and she couldn’t bear to look into his eyes. 

“I don’t know . . . I’m just . . . so confused.” She finally lifted her gaze to his. “Why are you here? _ How _are you are here?”

Killian glanced around the busy New York street. “Maybe we should move this conversation somewhere more private?”

Emma nodded. “Come on, let’s go back to my place.” She turned, tilting her head for him to follow.

“Why Swan, if physical comfort of a more _ intimate _kind is what you desire, just say so.”

Emma rolled her eyes as his swagger returned. He even popped the “t” on “intimate,” and his tongue made a quick appearance. She added a glare to her eye roll for good measure, but when she turned to head down the sidewalk, she couldn’t help the smile that lit her face.

**************************************************************

“I came back for you.”

There was that damn sincerity again. Emma knocked back another swallow of rum to cover up how flustered he made her. He had _always _shaken her cool demeanor, even way back on that damn beanstalk. Not even Neal had tilted her equilibrium in quite that way. Her chest tightened at the thought of her ex. All of this meant _he _might be back in her life, and how was she supposed to explain that to Henry? She groaned and rose from the chair. She paced in agitation for a minute or two before stopping before the window and pressing her forehead to the cool glass. She felt Killian approach behind her. How did he manage to radiate such heat? Was it all that leather?

“These windows were what sold me on this apartment,” Emma said.

“It is quite a spectacular view.”

Emma blinked, looking out at the skyline without really seeing it. “We thought our place in Boston went up in flames leaving us with nothing but the clothes on our backs.”

“Regina’s false memories - I know.”

“But no spell can get you an apartment like this - not in New York.”

“It must have been very difficult for you,” Killian said gently, stepping closer. His chest was just a hair’s breadth from her back. 

“My wallet was in the Bug, thank God. We got a tiny, dingy room in one of those extended stay hotels. It was a hell of a week, let me tell you, but I guess fate . . . “ she released a long breath. “We met Diane at a coffee shop. This is her apartment. She worked at the same PI place I’m at now and was just about to leave for a long term assignment in Canada.”

“I’m glad you and Henry found a home so quickly.” Killian was so close now, his breath rustled her hair. 

“But it isn’t home, is it? It never was.”

Killian’s hands - one of flesh and one of wood - rested on her shoulders. “I’m sorry for having to rip all this away from you. Less than an hour ago, your life was simple. I guess I didn’t stop to think -”

“No.” Emma turned to face him. Her breath hitched at how close he was, and she swallowed nervously as her heart hammered in her chest. “I mean, don’t apologize. You got a message, and you had to do the right thing.”

His face was gentle and tender as he lifted his hand to tuck a wayward strand of her hair behind her ear. Emma’s pulse hammered. 

“I was crazy with worry. Out of my mind, actually.”

“Why?”

“I thought you might be in danger. I couldn’t forgive myself if harm came to you and your boy when I could have stopped it.”

Time seemed to slow down as heat surged from the top of Emma’s head to the tips of her toes. She raised her hand to trace Killian’s jaw with her fingertips. His eyes fell shut with obvious pleasure at her touch.

“Killian,” she whispered. 

His eyes flew open, awe on his face. “What did you call me?”

“Killian,” she repeated. Her eyes darted from his eyes to his lips and back again. She took a tiny step forward, and her nose brushed his. “Remember when I said that kiss was a one-time thing?”

Emma watched his adam’s apple as he swallowed. Her hand slid down to splay over his chest, and she could feel the steady beat of his heart. 

“Aye, I remember,” he said thickly.

“I lied.”

She slid her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck and pulled his face to hers. She brushed her lips against his teasingly before pressing closer. Killian wrapped her in his arms, but unlike his tender touch in the street earlier, this embrace was sensual and possessive. And unlike Neverland, this kiss was slow and unhurried, thorough and complete. His tongue drank her in languidly, and a moan sounded in the back of his throat. Emma let out a sensual sigh as she broke her lips away from his and tipped her head back. He trailed his tongue across her jaw, and Emma whimpered. 

“Say it again, Emma,” he breathed against her pulse point, “say my name.”

“Killian,” she gasped, “oh, God!” 

He was sucking at her neck, which was a pretty remarkable feat considering she was wearing a turtleneck. A fashion choice she was _ really _regretting right now. Killian’s hand slipped up the back of her shirt, leaving sparks racing up and down her spine. She was just about to pull the damn shirt off completely, when there was a knock at the door. 

“Who’s that?” Killian asked, shifting from aroused to alarmed in seconds flat - pirate! - while Emma was completely disoriented.

Then realization slammed into her. “Shit, that’s Walsh.” 

Killian’s eyes narrowed. “Want me to get rid of him?”

A year and a half ago, Emma would have thought he meant that literally. Now, she found his protectiveness sweet. Regret and shame also gripped her. She hadn’t given Walsh a second of her thoughts since she took that potion. Had she really been considering his proposal just that morning? Pity for the man swept over her.

“No. My memories may have been a lie, but the eight months I spent with him weren’t.”

She saw the hurt flicker across Killian’s face, and while she was beyond confused by everything that had happened in the last hour, one thing was now certain - Killian Jones would move heaven and earth for her and Henry. She stepped close to him again, and cupped his face in her hands. 

“Hey,” she said, caressing his cheeks with her thumb, “I owe him a goodbye. That’s all I’m saying.”

The smile he gave her was tentative, so she brushed a kiss to his lips. Then she turned to have a conversation that she didn’t really want to have. Walsh had been a pretty good boyfriend and was a decent guy. She hated to break his heart, but now that Killian was here, she could see how lacking her relationship with Walsh had been. It had been safe and comfortable, and in some ways she loved him. But her feelings for Walsh were like a tiny flicker compared to the inferno that Killian ignited in her. She wasn’t sure yet what Killian was to her, but she certainly couldn’t string Walsh along. Nor could she involve him in what she now knew was her insane and dangerous life. 

Emma took a deep breath and flung the door open. Walsh’s face broke into a hopeful smile as he stepped forward to kiss her hello. At the last moment, Emma turned her cheek, and Walsh frowned. 

“Walsh, we need to talk.”

He smiled again. “Yeah, I know, that’s why I’m here for dinner.” He glanced over her shoulder. “Are you going to let me in?”

Emma gnawed at her lower lip. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, and dinner’s off. I’m sorry.”

As usual, Walsh kept the casual grin on his face. “What’s going on?”

“I have my answer, Walsh. I’m sorry, but I can’t marry you.”

“Why not? I told you I won’t push you to set a date. I mean we love each other!”

Emma let out a sigh. “The last eight months have been great, they really have, but someone from my past showed up - “

“An ex?”

“No! Nothing like that.” Emma swallowed nervously thinking of the passionate kisses Walsh had just interrupted, but at least she wasn’t lying, technically. 

“What then?”

“I need to go back home, Walsh, and I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. I’m not good for you, trust me.”

Walsh’s eyes narrowed in a way she’d never seen before. “Home? I thought you had no home?”

“Well, I -”

Walsh punched his fist into the doorframe just above Emma’s head, and she jumped. “You just had to drink that potion, didn’t you?”

“What?”

“Emma,” Killian’s voice came from behind her, and it held support for Emma and a warning for Walsh at the same time. She was relieved to hear it as she reeled at Walsh’s words, yet the next thing out of his mouth was even worse.

“The witch warned me this guy might come for you.” 

Emma sucked in a shocked breath. “Who are you?”

Everything after that happened so fast, Emma’s mind spun. Walsh’s eyes turned an eerie red just as Killian stepped between him and Emma, cutlass drawn. Walsh let out an animalistic shriek as he lunged for Killian, and Emma screamed to see the man she’d dated for the past eight months transform into a hideous monkey with wings. Killian’s cutlass went sliding across the floor, and Emma snatched it up. Walsh - the monkey? - raised a clawed hand to strike at Killian, but before he could, Emma kicked him in the chest, sending him flying out into the hallway. Killian scrambled to his feet, and Emma tossed him his cutlass as she grabbed her pistol from the holster hanging on the coat rack. She normally locked it up in a safe, but with Henry gone and her mind in turmoil from the pictures she’d developed, she had hurriedly hung it there earlier, thank God.

The two of them dashed into the hallway, where the monkey (she refused to refer to it as Walsh anymore) hunched, its wings outspread. It didn’t see Emma’s gun until it was too late, but just as Emma pulled the trigger, she shifted her aim. The bullet grazed the monkey in the shoulder, and he howled in pain. He flung himself toward Emma and Killian, bowling them over and half running, half flying toward the window at the end of the hall. The monkey barrelled through the glass and flung itself into the sky. Emma and Killian raced after it, but all they saw was a glittery cloud of magic on the pavement below. 

“I couldn’t do it,” Emma panted, adrenaline still coursing through her veins, “I couldn’t kill him.”

“I know,” Killian said gently, gathering her in his arms. 

Emma turned her face into his chest as sobs finally overtook her.

** _I wanted, I wanted you to stay /'Cause I needed, I need to hear you say / That I love you, I have loved you all along / And I forgive you, / for being away for far too long / So keep breathing, 'cause I'm not leaving / Hold on to me and never let me go / Keep breathing, 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore_ **

“I was never safe.”

Emma idly skimmed her fingers up and down Killian's forearm as he ran his fingers through her hair. His long leather coat was tossed over the kitchen chair, his boots lined up neatly in the hall by the door. He was leaning back against her couch, and she was leaning against his chest, his arm wrapped around her with his false hand resting against her stomach. His legs were spread out on either side of her. He was wearing grey wool socks. Somehow she’d never considered that Captain Hook would wear socks. 

“You’re safe now,” he whispered against her hair.

“For how long? You came to find me because another curse was coming for my family, and all this time I was dating. . . I was dating . . . “ she was thinking the word _ monkey _ but couldn’t say it out loud. _ I was dating a monkey! _ Suddenly, a chuckle shook her body, then another. Soon her body was shaking with silent laughter.

“Emma, love,” Killian said in alarm, “are you crying?”

“No,” Emma gasped out, though tears _ were _ beginning to roll down her face, “I’m laughing.” She couldn’t speak for a few minutes as the laughter shook her frame. She pushed away from Killian and sat cross-legged in the middle of the sofa while he looked at her in bewilderment. 

“Come on,” she gasped, smacking him in the chest, “you know you want to laugh too. I . . . I almost . . . m- mar-” she doubled over in hysterics, and Killian’s mouth twitched and his eyes sparkled. 

“He proposed that night? The monkey actually proposed?” 

“Yes!” 

God, she must look insane, but she chanced a glance at Killian, and he was laughing now, too. She realized that she had never seen him smile like that, or ever really laugh. It was a wonderful look on him, with dimples creasing his cheeks and crow’s feet crinkling around his eyes. She fell against his chest again, this time wetting it with tears of laughter. His arms went around her again as both their bodies shook. Finally, the mixture of laughter and tears were spent and Emma sighed in his embrace. His hand came back up to tangle in her hair. 

“I’m sorry Em-”

She lifted up quickly on her elbows and pressed a finger to his lips. “Don’t, remember? None of this is your fault.”

They were so close again, this time with their bodies pressed against one another, and their gazes turned heated. Killian was the one who moved first this time, surging forward to claim her lips. Emma kissed him back with equal fervor, yanking him up and across the couch so their positions were switched and he was on top of her. His hand slipped beneath the fabric of her turtleneck again, his calloused fingers warm against her stomach. 

“I hate this shirt,” she mumbled as she broke away from him just long enough to pull it over her head and toss it aside. 

His eyes darkened with desire as he gazed at her in just her lacy black bra, and Emma yanked him back down to her again to resume their kisses. This time, there was plenty of exposed skin for him to kiss, and she breathed out his name multiple times without him having to ask. 

*******************************************************

“How do you feel now?”

Emma grinned at Killian’s question, then shivered as he trailed kisses across her bare shoulder. She turned in his arms, tracing the tattoos that marked each bicep, letting her fingers trail down to the end of his arms. He flinched slightly as she gently caressed the puckered flesh of his stump, then gave him an adoring smile as she pressed it between her breasts. She shifted closer to him, nuzzling his neck with her nose.

“Very . . . satisfied,” she murmured, nipping at one of his elfin earlobes. 

“A man always wants to satisfy his lady,” Killian teased as he gave her bare hip a playful pinch.

Emma giggled, a sound that was almost foreign to her own ears. She pressed her lips to his jaw bone, then his chin, then she pulled back so she could see his eyes. They seemed lighter, but that may have only been in contrast to the desire that had darkened them to cobalt earlier. She reached up to trace the scar on his cheek, and he smiled serenely. They stayed like that, content to just drink one another in.

“What did you mean when you said _ good _?” Killian finally asked, voice soft and low. “At the town line a year ago.”

He needn’t have clarified, Emma knew exactly what he was referring to. She shrugged.

“You said you’d think of me every day, and . . . I don’t know, I liked the thought of it.” She frowned. “I know that’s selfish.”

“Well,” he said, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, “you have a right to be selfish every now and then. You rarely put yourself first, and frankly, I’d like to see that change.”

Emma’s breath caught in her throat. Anyone putting her first was so rare, it was difficult to accept. 

“Did you?” she asked him. “Think of me every day?”

“Every single day.”

They had so much to figure out. They would have to travel to Storybrooke tomorrow, and find some way to explain all this to Henry. When they got there, most likely everyone would have false memories again, and there was a witch, apparently. 

But for now, Emma would do as Killian suggested, and be selfish for once. She would, for once in her life, let someone comfort her and take care of her. Because somehow, some way, she knew that Killian Jones wasn’t going anywhere. 

** _On my knees, I'll ask last chance for one last dance / 'Cause with you, I'd withstand / All of hell to hold your hand / I'd give it all I'd give for us / Give anything, but I won't give up / Cause you know, you know, you know / I love you, I have loved you all along and I missed you / Been far away for far too long_ **


End file.
